Luna Jimenez Seminars

A colleague agreed to let me post this email (Subject: “What Would Nanci Do?”) anonymously.  In it, they share candidly some of the struggles as well as the successes of being a visible ally. How have you interrupted gay oppression as an ally? What did you learn?  What was the impact on you? Others, that you know? I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

Email: Just want you to know how much you inspire me. At this training I participated in, these two amazing master-level trainers facilitated our group. They emphasized working from a positive, strength-based approach.  Yet at one point he used the word gay in a negative context:  “My son would say, ‘Oh that’s so gay.’” The next day a participant was sharing and then used the same phrase. My heart hurt and I thought….”What would Nanci Luna say?” So I raised my hand and commented, “I appreciate working from the positive and using the term ‘gay’ as it has been used certainly is not positive and, I would offer, offensive.” What was beautiful is the young man who said it came and first apologized and then thanked me for putting an end to this use. The beautiful outcome was the young man’s recognition of this exchange…noting he, too, has to continue to grow in respect for self and others. And as he took full ownership for his remarks, we sat together for lunch. I realized that we all learn and grow everyday…he taught me humility and ownership…Nanci taught me love.”

Once I gave up the hunt for balance, realizing this to be a futile search since I could never quite “achieve it” and it kept me on the “feeling bad about myself” treadmill, I began to appreciate that there was something much more valuable available to me:  the life I want—guilt-free.  I write these words almost covertly, tempted to look over my shoulder, as if someone might hear me and begin to refute this precious notion.  And I will confess to you: the idea of having the guilt-free life I want is not yet a reliably-available reality, but rather a perspective I reach for, again and again.

There is a four step process and four corresponding tools that I have found useful in heading toward the life I want.  Over the next few months, I will share these with you on this blog.  I hope you will create some time in your life to experiment with them, share what you learn with me and others, and make them a part of the life you want for you.

The first step in the process is prioritizing. As a queen of multi-tasking, everything feels equally important to me (except, of course, if I have that pending deadline!).  And, to be honest, I want a life without limits. Prioritizing can feel like I’m “limiting” myself because it feels like saying “yes” to one thing is saying “no” to something else—a something else I might also want as a part of my life.  As a result, I resisted prioritizing, kind of like one’s immune system resists a virus—with everything it’s got. By not prioritizing, though, I found myself saying “yes” to things that really weren’t how I wanted to spend my time and energy. I soon felt “out of balance” and eventually resentful and leaky about it (“Why am I stuck doing this?” “This is your project after all,” etc.).

Take a minute right now (Yeah, now.  Why not now?) and grab a piece of paper and something to write with.  Make a list of your top three priorities.  You can use words or phrases or even images to capture what matters most to you. As you look at the list, determine your top priority and put a star by it. Now ask yourself—how much of my time do I actually spend on this priority?  If you are like most of us, it’s not a majority of your waking hours.

Now that you’ve identified what matters most to you, take a few more minutes and write about why it matters to you.  Journaling is the first tool.  Many underlying values are revealed when we understand what makes this priority important to us.  For example, a friend of mine shared that her top priority was her health.  Without being healthy, she felt that she wouldn’t be able to be at her best for anyone else—family, work, friends or community service.  As she got clearer about this value, then she was better able to say “no” to serving on that extra committee if it meant she wouldn’t have time to shop for healthy food or get that 20 minute walk in.  She understood that in the long run she wouldn’t be contributing to those meetings at her best anyway if she was sick or exhausted.

What makes journaling a powerful tool is if you can let your thoughts just flow.  Try not to censor or “think” too much about what you’re writing.  If you do, then those “thought monitors” take over to make sure you’re having the “right” thoughts—which misses the opportunity to know what really are your thoughts.  There is nothing you have to do with what you write. It could be as temporary and short-lived as the time you took to write them down. However, if you make the time to repeat this exercise for several days or even weeks, you will continue to deepen your understanding of the underlying values and begin to notice patterns that are held by this precious priority.

This is the first step in the process you can return to if you notice feeling “out of balance”—really just an indicator that you are not spending your time in a way that aligns with what’s most important to you. Priorities will change. Return to this step periodically to check in and notice what may have shifted.  Remember the more you can do what matters most to you (and do less from “obligations” or “expectations”) the more you will have a life that you want.

Beyond Poverty and Affluence: Towards an Economy of Care By Bob Goudzwaard, Harry de Lange

Originally published in Dutch in 1986, this groundbreaking book is more relevant than ever given our current economic climate and a perfect companion to Johnson’s Privilege, Power, and Difference. Distinguished economists, Goudzwaard and de Lange discuss how traditional economic policies create and exacerbate poverty, environmental degradation, the ever widening divide between communities with privilege and access to resource and those without. They argue that our unquestioning faith in the ability of increasing industrial production to alleviate social and economic problems is unfounded and even destructive.

The authors urge that it is time to create a system that values the contribution of human labor in a radically different way. They propose a 12 step program for recovery based on an economy of care and abundance. They outline six paradoxes (time, care, poverty, health, labor, and scarcity) that highlight how current economic practices leave so many people behind. Despite a rising need for labor, unemployment continues to skyrocket. Given the preponderance of wealth, many people remain deep in poverty without the time activities related to the care of children, the elderly and other members of our communities.

This book is a radical departure from commonly accepted economic policy. The authors argue, “A renewed economic paradigm must proceed from the assumption that people need to advance the interests of others.  People must be willing to think inclusively.  They much choose to be led by considerations other than self-interest, a principle that belongs inextricably to the thought patterns of our society’s current economic paradigm.” Given the economic climate in the US and globally, it is a timely call to rethink how we view production and how we assign value.

Allan Johnson’s Privilege, Power, and Difference is addresses the taboo topic of diversity—power. The first eight chapters are devoted to defining and identifying privilege in all its forms—including its roots in capitalism (see second book review this month for a deeper analysis). Using a mix of theory and real world examples, Johnson successfully endeavors to illustrate for his readers the effects of power and privilege on all of us—and that all of us have a role in making change happen. “The simple truth is that the trouble we’re in can’t be solved unless people who are heterosexual or male or Anglo or white or economically comfortable feel obligated to make the problem of privilege their problem and to do something about it.”

Johnson’s conversational writing style works to diffuse defensiveness while inviting readers to think critically about issues such as “white privilege,” “dominance,” “patriarchy,” “heterosexism,” and “racism.” Normally diversity conversations are more coded and less direct because simply using these words can “turn off” privileged groups from even addressing the issues. Johnson argues, “we have to reclaim some difficult …, language that has been so misused and maligned that it generates more heat than light.  We can’t just stop using words like racism, sexism and privilege, however, because these are tools that focus our awareness on the problem and all the forms it takes.  Once we can see and talk about what’s going on, we can analyze how it works as a system.  We can identify points of leverage where change can begin.”

Johnson educates his readers about the difference between individuals who may or may not “feel” privileged and how people in social categories are awarded privilege and power by the very nature of one’s participation in the system—regardless of if they can “feel” it.  He challenges us to interrupt this system of dominance by breaking our silence around privilege. He writes about our ability to choose a “path of greater resistance” that questions the assumptions that keep power and privilege in place.

For those of you working to implement organizational change, pay close attention to pages 67-70.  Johnson addresses some of the pitfalls of implementing organizational diversity initiatives built upon the “tin cup approach” and the “business case.” He writes, “Perhaps more than any other factor, this reluctance to come to terms with more serious and entrenched forms of [power and the unequal distribution of resources and rewards] is why most diversity programs produce limited and short-lived results.”

The final chapter outlines some clear actions we can take to transform our relationship to privilege. As Johnson states, “We are not prisoners to some natural order that pits us hopelessly and endlessly against one another.” This book offers us a framework for engaging in authentic and healing conversations about privilege and its contribution to systems of inequality.

LJS will design and facilitate s 2-day workshop for SERK’s Leaders As Change Agents (LACA) Institute Cohort I, helping participants to deepen their understanding of the causes, context and facts of all forms of oppression, with a special emphasis on leadership oppression as well as assisting participants to learn how to identify, work to dissolve, and prevent leadership oppression.

Philadelphia, PA

Do What You Do Best! (And Let Them Do What They Do Best!):
How to Support Collaborative Partnerships with Reflective Practices
How often do we find our organization reacting to the crisis of the moment, instead of focusing on what it does best? How often do we step in to “fix” or “rescue” others in an attempt to make a situation better, only to find it’s made it worse? How often do we, as an organization, take on more than we need to, and then end up resenting our co-workers for letting us? As we continue to juggle the expectations of doing more with less and struggle with the pull to “be all things to all people” we end up missing the power of relationships for true partnership and collaboration! Join us for a memorable morning keynote session where you will learn strategies for implementing reflective practices that help identify and celebrate what your organization does best. These techniques and tools will encourage you to let your partners do what they do best so you can be your best!

Philadelphia, PA