Luna Jimenez Seminars

Once I gave up the hunt for balance, realizing this to be a futile search since I could never quite “achieve it” and it kept me on the “feeling bad about myself” treadmill, I began to appreciate that there was something much more valuable available to me:  the life I want—guilt-free.  I write these words almost covertly, tempted to look over my shoulder, as if someone might hear me and begin to refute this precious notion.  And I will confess to you: the idea of having the guilt-free life I want is not yet a reliably-available reality, but rather a perspective I reach for, again and again.

There is a four step process and four corresponding tools that I have found useful in heading toward the life I want.  Over the next few months, I will share these with you on this blog.  I hope you will create some time in your life to experiment with them, share what you learn with me and others, and make them a part of the life you want for you.

The first step in the process is prioritizing. As a queen of multi-tasking, everything feels equally important to me (except, of course, if I have that pending deadline!).  And, to be honest, I want a life without limits. Prioritizing can feel like I’m “limiting” myself because it feels like saying “yes” to one thing is saying “no” to something else—a something else I might also want as a part of my life.  As a result, I resisted prioritizing, kind of like one’s immune system resists a virus—with everything it’s got. By not prioritizing, though, I found myself saying “yes” to things that really weren’t how I wanted to spend my time and energy. I soon felt “out of balance” and eventually resentful and leaky about it (“Why am I stuck doing this?” “This is your project after all,” etc.).

Take a minute right now (Yeah, now.  Why not now?) and grab a piece of paper and something to write with.  Make a list of your top three priorities.  You can use words or phrases or even images to capture what matters most to you. As you look at the list, determine your top priority and put a star by it. Now ask yourself—how much of my time do I actually spend on this priority?  If you are like most of us, it’s not a majority of your waking hours.

Now that you’ve identified what matters most to you, take a few more minutes and write about why it matters to you.  Journaling is the first tool.  Many underlying values are revealed when we understand what makes this priority important to us.  For example, a friend of mine shared that her top priority was her health.  Without being healthy, she felt that she wouldn’t be able to be at her best for anyone else—family, work, friends or community service.  As she got clearer about this value, then she was better able to say “no” to serving on that extra committee if it meant she wouldn’t have time to shop for healthy food or get that 20 minute walk in.  She understood that in the long run she wouldn’t be contributing to those meetings at her best anyway if she was sick or exhausted.

What makes journaling a powerful tool is if you can let your thoughts just flow.  Try not to censor or “think” too much about what you’re writing.  If you do, then those “thought monitors” take over to make sure you’re having the “right” thoughts—which misses the opportunity to know what really are your thoughts.  There is nothing you have to do with what you write. It could be as temporary and short-lived as the time you took to write them down. However, if you make the time to repeat this exercise for several days or even weeks, you will continue to deepen your understanding of the underlying values and begin to notice patterns that are held by this precious priority.

This is the first step in the process you can return to if you notice feeling “out of balance”—really just an indicator that you are not spending your time in a way that aligns with what’s most important to you. Priorities will change. Return to this step periodically to check in and notice what may have shifted.  Remember the more you can do what matters most to you (and do less from “obligations” or “expectations”) the more you will have a life that you want.